On Endurance in Separation & Divorce

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Starting today and running through October 30th, She’s in the City is hosting a series called More Precious Than Gold – because all of us are just that! The series will encourage women of all ages on endurance in various seasons of depletion and disappointment and was inspired from the following passage in 1 Peter:

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith – more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

-1 Peter 1:6-7 

Each week’s episode will focus on a different season of trial or weariness we face as women. Which begs the question: what if this week’s season doesn’t apply to me? My encouragement is LISTEN ANYWAY! If you haven’t yet experienced something, it’s likely a loved one or dear SHE around you has. We hope in those cases, our talks in the coming weeks can foster compassion in you and serve as a comfort to share with those in your life who are facing these specific seasons.

My new favorite motto, which is noted in this week’s episode, is this:

“We’d rather be with you in your mess than alone in ours.”

I hope y’all feel the same!

When we’re killing it physically, but our minds and spirits are a train wreck.

This week on She’s in the City we navigate one of the most prevalent and heartbreaking topics of American culture – separation and divorce.  The deep wounds of fragmented and terminated marriages plague just as many as they pass over, and we hope you share these two faithful women’s stories with anyone – male or female – that you know facing this hurt.

Our guests this week are 31 and 59 respectively, the first of whom is hardly 1 year out from learning of her husband’s infidelity and the second of whom has over 2 decades of a now reconciled marriage. Their stories are different but their hearts very much the same – from their battles with betrayal, struggles to forgive, and their ultimate hope being rooted in the greatest hope, reliance on Christ.

“When we struggle we get to experience a part of God we’ve never really experienced before. And when we share that heartache with other people, we can be a glimpse of [God] for them too.”

We talk about the depleting paradox of emotions in seasons of separation and about how to hold both deep betrayal and deep love in the same moments. We admit the overwhelming weariness when we feel we can’t bear one hurtful more thing. We talk about battling rejection on a daily basis and the courage it takes to seek the Lord’s voice above the barrage of so many others.

Both the women share the importance of having a safe haven – a place of solace, peace, and quiet, isolated time wherever you need, every day. They both find that in that place, with broken, surrendered open hands, the Holy Spirit and the power of God can both propel and relieve us in remarkably physical and emotional ways.

“It was the most amazing moment I’ve ever had,” Hannah tells us, “even though I still didn’t know how my marriage was going to end, I knew I would be okay.”

They admit that forgiveness is a daily choice and a pivotal sacrifice on the road toward peace, regardless of the outcome of the marriage. They admit how much anger is fully merited but how it can also keep us from finding ultimate healing. They talk about acceptance when the relationship ultimately ends in divorce as well as how to earn back trust in a marriage that resolves.

No matter where you are in the process of separation or divorce, this week’s message will give you light. I pray it revives, in many ways, your burdened and broken heart and through the courageous testimonies of these two women, turns you back to the One love that can never and will never end.

A few resources for our SHE’S:

It’s All About Him, Denise Jackson

The Power of a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, Lysa Terkeurst

Seamless, Angie Smith